Nigredo, Part II
After spending most of the afternoon at the cemetery, intensely mulling over the past several years of my life in heavy contemplation, I’ve realized that I was stuck in a sort of full-circle survivalist mode, fueling my depression and wasting away any hope of potential or reason. The infection is a deadly pandemic disease that continues to spread until the infected is finally dead, as one struggles to survive the nightmarish reality that worsens by the day. I was taken to the eternal void; an alternative universe on an alien planet. As I struggled to swim to the other side, the current was transparent though nearly impossible to reach, as I watched myself drown to the bottom of the abyss.
As I was sitting at my desk, the Nine of Wands fell from the deck of tarot cards located firmly on my desk. The man’s bandaged head indicates that he has already fought and is prepared to fight again. The staves behind him suggest the boundary of that which he protects. Its divinatory meaning is the pause in a struggle. Preparedness, strength in reserve. Eventual victory but steady force must be applied. Obstinacy, strength, power, health. I take this all as an auspicious sign.
In the preparation of the Stone, the hollowed out Egg is subjected to the sacred Fire, thus bringing it to a blackened state. During the night of the full Moon, a return to prima materia, or akasha, the black egg of spirit.